i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
