So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
