so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
