Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
