tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
