I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just had sex bonerless
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
