Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
