i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
