Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
try to milk me bitch
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
