Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
