pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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