one might say we're banned from that church
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
