More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
there is puke in my bra ... again
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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