I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
