I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
