you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
