id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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