I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
