remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
