Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
