Porn is love you can see.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
