So drunk its hurt
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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