So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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