where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
