In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
