I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
