Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They have beer where we have blood.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
