Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
