we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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