Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
