real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it hurts more in the daytime
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
