All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
