Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
