I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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