What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
