It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
