My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
