You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
