Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
