Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
