She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
