uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
