I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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