dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pants are for mortals
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
