ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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