i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that's an acceptable place to lick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
