i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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