Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
