please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
