Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
