There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
