Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
COCAINE IS GR8
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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