I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I stole a fireplace last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
