Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
