is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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