dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have aggressive nipples.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
