Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
