Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
