i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
